You're so gangsta, I'm so thug

We're still alive, living our crazy little lives. Or are we?

First, I want to tell you a story that happened only a few minutes ago. It's about me, being funny (my favorite stories :). First let me give you some background. I love the movie Legends of the Fall. I watch it a lot. It's in my computer as I write this and has been for weeks. Background completed.

So Chaz, Britt, Anna (Every time I write or say Anna's name, I first think "Katrina"... it literally happens every single time) and I were in our living room. We were just sort of hanging out, talking about different things... you know, Britt's new lisp, how I used to not be able to say any word with "cious" in it (like suspicious), Anna's latin lover, and the like. Just some good hangin' going on. I was also just window-shopping on the internet and when I finished, I closed the browser only to see that my Legends of the Fall DVD was still playing from when I was watching it earlier. So I rewinded it to the sex scene (which is quite sexual I assure you) and played it for the other three. Hahahaha... it was great.

You should have seen their faces. They never saw it coming. Anna wheeled her chair into the other room laughing... then came back and complimented my awkward-creation abilities - I don't think any of them were really surprised I did that... oh man, it was just so perfect.

So what else is going on here?

Well, right now, Anna is on a date with Ray Ray (just google "ray ray dancing" and go to images - he's the second image listed). She probably wishes I didn't write that... but she also wanted me to continue writing the blog so we all have to make sacrifices. Ok, so that's not him, but that's what I found when I looked for a picture of a guy named ray ray who was really good at dancing. I haven't cut my hair in almost a year... got the pone rockin' right now. We have a monkey lamp, so that's pretty cool... and two recliners (IN THE SAME ROOM AS THE MONKEY LAMP! It's pretty much the best room you could ask for). Chaz's employer (the gov) is giving him a performance review this week (basically, he works from home and writes to the company how successful he is at his responsibilities... and we wonder why the government can't figure out health care). Robby is running a weekend retreat for the kids he works with (he is a youth minister at a church in Aurora). Brittney is mad at the universe and trying to steal a baby... (Todd, stop concerning yourself with business efficiency and let the woman talk about yoga... SHIT! Some people, you know?) Mary is a nugget carrier of wisdom... she laid it all on me this morning. Chaz is wearing Andy's shirt (that he made, not that he owns). PS - www.andyholdeman.com. Andy and I both work at grocery stores... it's really funny to see who buys condoms. An eighty year old couple? Unless it's Abraham and Sarah, they must be buying them as a gift right? And what kind of gift is that? I suppose it's practical... just strange. Maybe they got 'em mixed up with ed-pills or something... maybe I should let this go (at least as the blog goes... but it will remain a mystery that boggles my little brain for years to come I'm sure). Mary is very confused by how male athletes give each other little butt slaps during competitions. Andy and I tried to convey that it's game time... sometimes we need to give each other a little support... put some pep in each other's step... you know? Speaking of male athletes, the Strong Cucumbers are together and competing again. We're getting annihilated every game, but we're still out there. Ben is as awesome as always. Carson takes his pants off to show everyone his thang every practice. Tanner stops playing with the ball at his feet to ask his dad how he's doing every game... it's great. What else? What else? Umm... Oh, we're having a Haunted House Warming Party on Halloween. It's at the house at 7:30. Come, don't, whatev man... we're cool. Anna's going to be a pirate... or a pirate trying to be something else.

How's the house doing otherwise?

It's been strange... I have to say. As a member of the first house, much is different. And to be honest, I don't know for the better or not. I think the four from the old house (me, chaz, britt and mar) have struggled to be passionate about what we're doing... I'm not sure we (all 7 of us) know what it is "we're doing". I'm not sure all of us think we should to be "doing something". It is all very confusing. The first house had so much more direction... even though we never ended up where we thought we were heading. It's so hard not to compare to the first house. I will say, though, that the support, the friendship, the family we are trying to build is growing. I wasn't always confident it would, but I think I realized today how much more I trust everyone here and rely on them. And they're all really legit people.

I will keep you guys (who reads this anymore... I mean it's been months since I wrote in here...) updated on all this.

Quote of the House so far (that I can remember): "And when I cry, it's sad" - Fu

Lindsey (from the josephine house) is leaving on her adventure to New Zealand soon. We're going to miss her... I am anyway. She's a pretty great person... I would highly recomend her to anyone living in New Zealand looking for a great meal, friendly and timely service, and a good friend. I give her five stars.

What if we all just did drugs? The house, I mean. Like one of you came to meet us all for the first time, and found us all shooting heroin... or meth? What if? Which brings up something else I want to talk about... MetLife... they can't protect you from the "if" in life people. Don't believe their ad campaign. It's simply not true... life just happens you know? And back to what we were talking about... meth... those commercials freak me out. Honestly, part of me wants to do meth just to prove you can do it once without ending up bloody in a bathtub or having sex with some dude for meth money. But what if it's true... and I do end up there? I better get MetLife.

(On a less serious note, I wrote this a week or so into the new house)
I just miss the fam. This is a our first group pic back when we were still meeting in Jeff and Chaz's apartment talking about letting homeless people sleep in our yard (hahahaha we're idiots).

'member when...

- the Starbuck's people wouldn't let us take a picture with them?

- Chaz said "Good out"?

- we were all struggling to understand the disappointment surrounding the first cabin?

- fought about working on the backyard?

- eventually built an awesome bunk bed after running into one stumbling block after another?

- Pete wore tight tight girl pants for the first time?

- we danced for 2.5 hours at Franti's concerts and then sang "Say Hey" at the dinner table?

- mel and I cried together at 2am longing for something we couldn't quite reach?

- the band played "limbs" so much we felt it?

- Pete sat and played Arlene?

- Brandon and Carter were obnoxious :)... specifically when they were playing Fifa with Jefe and Pete?

- I wrote lyrics to that one song... "Lindsey, can you come here for a sec?" (hahahahahaha)

- we couldn't win a debate with Mary?

- Lindsey never once complained about cooking... not even once? Amazing.

- the boys sat smoking pipes and talked on the porch in the middle of winter?

- Kiley layed her head on Jefe's knee for the first time?

- I had a shirt on?

- Jeff let me play guitar for First Pres?

- the group hugs?

- the "oh my Lord, Lord, Lord... Hummm" huddles?

- the dance parties?

- when Jeff almost got the moving truck stuck under an overpass?

- when you first met Bon?

- you didn't want to come home because it was too hard?

- the house felt so empty when one person was out of town?

- we kept the dead orchids in the house for three months trying to resurrect them?

- Lindsey's awkward drinking face?

- Kiley was so happy to see you?

- Kiley was so drugged out and had drool hanging down a foot from her mouth?

- Julie's kids finished the patio?

- the strange beauty of the lights hanging over our yard?

- George?
- Bon's soul trying desperately to tell us he sucked when we first him with all his lovely comments?

- we named Katie "El Bronto" for whatever reason?

- some of us didn't do any chores for the final month and a half?

- when Pete did the dishes 85% of the time? Also amazing.

- Katie asked me if I needed someone to talk to on the back steps?

- no matter how hard I pushed you all away, you never closed your hearts to me?

- you knew Mary was watching something funny on TV downstairs? Not a better laugh in the world Mar.

- when I walked into the ending of a Grey's Anatomy episode and I got eight teary eyes looking back at me?

- we took sides against each other?
- when mel and I had that first fight?

- we all hated the people at the hotel Katrina was going to have her wedding at because they sucked?

- we put life vests on Kiley and tried to get her to swim?

- Jeff and I made up the "ooh-aah" song in the basement?

- fruit leathers?

- Justin called me to tell me he was going to be a dad?

- Katrina and Kiley took a nap together at the first cabin?

- when we danced in the rain at one of Speakeasy Tiger's shows?

- Brittney sang and I played "Hey There Delilah"

- Fred haunted the upstairs closet?

- Pete tried to train Kiley to wipe her drool on the sheet covering her cage?

- Katie basically took care of Kiley most of the year?

- Chaz had his beard... any of the times? It was always epic.

- Mousacost? I still feel insensitive using that name. I tried coming up with other names, but I guess putting our mouse murders in any kind of name makes light of horrible things.

- Kiley would hide her bones in the back of Mary and Katie's closet? In the corner? Under a pile of clothes?

- Pete changed his birthday on Facebook for like two weeks in a row to see how many wishes he'd get?

- Duke Wellington?

- Syncrinicities and Collective Consciousness?

- Jeff and Chaz and Pete packed the moving van so incredibly tight?

- Lindsey, Jeff and I felt quite awkward at Whitney's event?

- I used to love writing blogs and they were funny and good?

- Brittney did Chai Tea in the living room? Why did I ask you to do that again?

- we all got mentioned in Speakeasy Tiger's album?

- I would walk five hundred miles just to be the man who walked five hundred miles and I would walk five hundred more just to be the man who walked one thousand miles for you and if you would walk five hundred miles then i wouldn't have to walk so far just to be the man who walked one thousand miles for you.

- we had friends and family over so many times and shared meals with them and laughed and played and enjoyed amazing food?

- Ben cried because the Strong People is a good baseball team name but not a good soccer team name?

- Jamie did my hair and I wore flannel?

- I joked about Jeff and Katie doing it?

- Mel moved out?

- "Is this Coldplay? Oh I love Colplay."?

- the redhead from Green Corps stayed with us? I can't remember his name.

- we (maybe just me) painted weird stuff? Life a uvula for Linds (still trying to figure that all out Linds, but I will paint you something good)

- 15 or so of us watched the Nuggets playoff game the night of the labor day party? with Amber?

- when everyone voted?

- how Caribou cares aboooout everything?

- Jeff brought home his new car?

- we drove around to all the auto shops in Steamboat to find Katrina a tire?

- I thought it was ridiculous to have a blog because I didn't want to think we were something special?

- when Jeff told me the world doesn't need people?

- Lindsey and I got engaged just so we could go register? And then never wore the ring Katie took out a loan to buy for me for her.

- we'd torment Kiley with all of Jeff's toys?

I can't tell you guys how much your love has changed my life. How much more comfortable I am around you all... and how much more confident I am in the rest of my life knowing both that you love me and that you'll always be there for me. You've been such a large part of my healing and growth. Thank you. Love you. No, wait, seriously: Katie, I love you. You are my family... I know love because I know you. Jeff, you're my best friend... maybe the only one I've ever had. Pete, I'm glad you're fathering Ryder. I see how much you put into everything you do... I'm really glad I had so much time with just you in the house. Fu, I adore you. If I was the universe, I'd kill Todd and all other yoga-hating people. Mary, I can come to you anytime I'm struggling and know you'll understand me. I've needed you in this second house. You are the most gracious person I know. Really. Chaz, you made me soup when I was sick. You are a true servant... in the good way. You take care of me and everyone around you. Katrina... Kat-face... is everything going to be fine? Yes. Is everything going to work out for me? Yes. Oh... okay. As much as you freak out, I have always been calmed by your faith that I would be okay. You're family is so weird. You are so weird. It was an honor to hug you when you missed Alan. Shit, linds, I wish I could moon you at this moment. But, I know you're going to meet your lover here soon in New Zealand, so I don't want you to be distracted. I hope my wife is like you (collective awkward gasp). Strong. god, you're strong. Humble. Free. Steadfast. Confident. Great dancer. Has the most amazing massage touch. I hope I'm like you. I hope she likes seeing my butt though. But other than that.

You guys are really special to me.