Dream - a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal

With each gift that you share
You may heal and repair
With each choice you make
You may help someone's day
Well I know you are strong
May your journey be long
And now I wish you the best of luck

Xavier Rudd - "Messages"

You know those lyrics in songs that just make you want to live differently? That challenge you and spark your imagination about what life could be like? This verse from Xavier Rudd does this for me.

I'm not sure exactly why I bring that up. I guess... Well... It has to do with something that happened a few nights ago that has been on my mind a lot. Near our house, a woman started jarring with Jeff and I verbally because we wouldn't buy something from her. We were taken aback because this anger seemed to come out of nowhere. In this process, I believe her heart cried out to us, sharing her pain by revealing some choices she is making. What could I have done? Are there words to give hope and show love to this woman who believes in nothing but her own worthlessness? I know this story is vague, and I keep it that way out of some sort of respect for the situation, but... I don't know.

I will never be that woman or know how she feels. Yet I have felt the sting of this world and genuinely considered the positives of leaving it. But I'm also living in new found freedom and a love I've never experienced before (in no way am I suggesting it's perfect or simply or easy, 'cause it ain't... it's just better, more beautiful, more joyful... good). Could I have shared my journey with her and given her hope that life can improve? I don't know. I didn't. I walked away, without any significant response. I regret not saying more. I regret not taking the risk that the words might have revived something in her forgotten and broken heart (In no way am I trying to discredit this woman or make her into someone deserving only our pity... but rather our respect and love and compassion). But that didn't happen, I walked away.

All the time while you're looking away
There are things you can do man
There's things you can say
To the the ones you're with
With whom you're spending your today
Get your gaze off tomorrow
And let come what may

John Butler Trio - "Better Than"

Our kids. Our wives. Our friends. Our mothers, fathers, sisters, co-workers, DMV employees, punk who cuts us off on Monday morning, boyfriends, enemies, in-laws, maids, bosses, and our roommates who drink too much Dr. Pepper (Me). What if we left in the morning and smiled to the people we walked past, the people on our bus? What if we were honest and stood up to our bosses? What if we couldn't wait for five o'clock so we could drive home to our wives and remind them who they are to us? What if? What if we decided what is mine, is everyone's? What if we realized the current moment was the most important?What if we remembered which experiences really brought us joy and life? And what if we said something to the people who really need to hear from us? And didn't walk away? Or stay silent?

It's a dream. Certainly not a new one. Sure, it's ideal, unachievable and maybe even childish to wish for it, but wouldn't you rather be a part of it? Trying to love unselfishly and openly?

I'm sure you're all very inspired to live loving everyone and everything after reading the kind of wisdom 22 long years brings. It is so challenging sometimes just to be not mean, let alone kind and compassionate. It's a battle. I just want to win more than I lose. Or at least, win more. Who knows, maybe this cult thing I live in has just gotten to me. Here's a couple more of those lyrics that comfort or challenge me and change my perspective. (ps - we're not a cult... but that's what a cult would say... so how can I prove it? Cults don't call themselves cults and in the joke above, I did. Now you're on the trolley.)

U2 - "Sometime You Can't Make it on Your Own"

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

Tenth Avenue North - "By Your Side"

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Robbie Seay Band - "Breathing Air Again"

Take the time to start anew
Maybe it's in front of you
Take the time to walk down your street
And heaven knows who you might meet
Take the time to be okay
And laugh a bit along the way
You could take me for a ride
We could just drive all day
And we could breathe again
Step outside our front door
And gaze upon the stars
And know we're not alone
So run into the fields
Scream louder than you can
It's good to be alive
And breathing air again
Take the time to stop and stare
Heaven's beauty everywhere
Take the time to think about
Someone else besides yourself
Take the time to be okay
And laugh a bit along the way